My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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