Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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