I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
