So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
