Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
