so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
