The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Girls should come with a carfax report
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
