I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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