How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
