We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
