margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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