It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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