I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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