somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize