Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
bring money and cleavage
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
