Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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