If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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