the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
