He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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