she looked like the before picture.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
