Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
