yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
