Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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