The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
