a search helicopter?!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
