i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
