if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize