"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
