Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
