if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
