What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
