he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
