that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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