my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
