I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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