Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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