And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
