CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
