Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
