Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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