who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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