worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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