Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
