This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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