between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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