butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My balls are so social today.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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