She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
