I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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