I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
