Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
