I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
