I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
