fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
