i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
