I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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