We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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