3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
