my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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