didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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