Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
