Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
