sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
