I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
