You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
