She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
