Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
