No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
